Six for Sunday: Books You’d Throw in the Fire

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This week’s prompt from Steph at A Little But A Lot is a new take on keeping warm in winter…by throwing books in the fire. Normally, I wouldn’t advocate throwing any book into a fire, but I’ve managed to pull together six that I wouldn’t mind seeing burn.

1. Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey. No disrespect to Mr Pilkey; these are not inherently bad books. My issue with them is that they turn my child into a muppet who dances around the house in underpants and a cape screaming Tra La La and doing chicken impressions.

2. Two Can Keep A Secret by Karen McManus. It’s no secret that this was a disappointing read for me, and I didn’t really enjoy it. Although, I am mostly outraged that the very best line of the book was the very last one and there is no prospect of that being resolved.

3. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. Don’t even @ me with your hatred. The musical was tolerable, but this book is thousands of pages long and something ridiculous like 400 pages of it was dedicated to describing the French sewerage system. No. Shush. Get in the fire. No-one cares.

4. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I studied this one at university in a module on post-colonialism and not only was it an absolute yawn fest from start to finish, it is also racist rubbish with no real story line to it.

5. William Wordsworth’s poems. Literally any of them. Wandering like a cloud, daffodils, the lot. It’s no secret that I have a difficult relationship with poetry, but having been made to study this man for almost every year of my education, I have a special place inside me that wants to watch his work burn.

6. We Can Be Mended by Veronica Roth. Not only do I wish to throw this in a fire and watch the flames dance on its grave, but I also wish to pretend it never existed to torture my eyeballs. I cannot accept this ending to the Divergent series. No. Just no.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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